regrets.

Lonely.

Lost.

I feel bad. Again.

I need friends. Someone to go do stupid shit with.

Good move, Cotter. Piss off your other half of 10+ yrs.

I'm not mad. I just miss her. I miss our 2am phone calls, laughing about nothing, and everything. Sharing recipes, talking about the boys, the kids, talking about the good sex, and the not so good. I just miss the us. Good lord, it sounds like we're dating. haha. She told me she felt like I was breaking up with her. I wanted to cry. Actually last night and today, I did. I didnt tell her though. She's my soulmate, always has been, always will be. Opposites sides of  the same coin. 2 old ladies and ten cats. Sometimes friendships need some TLC and tweaking, they don't just last because you want them to.

I love that hot bitch with all my heart. I want her to move. More than anything.

I can't wait to have poker nights, game nights, watch movies, double date with Bert & Scott-O, have playdates with the kids, watch Liv & Astrid become the Sarah & Blu: the sequel, go camping and shopping, get ridiculously drunk and hold each others hair.  I can't wait to laugh until it hurts, like she's never been gone.

I've become so accustomed to not having a best friend HERE, that I dont know what it'll be like to actually say hey, I'm coming over. And do it. 

I was just worried that moving would make her lonely and miss her old friends and old life. And I just want her to be happy. I do feel at times, we havent made the time lately to keep in contact like we used to, and that makes me sad as well. Like we're growing apart. We used to always have time.  I  hate that our phone call on election night was the most we've talked in months. hate when I call, I feel like I'm a pain in the ass. So I dont call anymore. Sometimes when she calls I dont answer, because there's nothing to say. And I HATE that about me. 

 I am the worst soulmate in the world. But I still love you.